


Thicker Than Water

by dasyuridae



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Other Characters Cameo - Freeform, Taakitz Week, Vampire AU, he loveably has the intelligence of a lemon, its called thicker than water cause taakos thick as heck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasyuridae/pseuds/dasyuridae
Summary: Taako knows two things. One, his sister's neighbour is unfairly hot. Two, he is definitely not a vampire.





	Thicker Than Water

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Weevilo707](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/gifts).



> This is for Taakitz Week free day, based on the wonderful animatic 'Lazy Vampire' by [panconkiwi](www.panconkiwi.tumblr.com). It is also a birthday gift for Weev! You're the best, thank you for all the joy our conversations and your fic have brought me. I hope you have a great day and I hope I didn’t butcher your prompt <3

"Ah," said Lup, "you mean our vampire neighbour?"  
There was a pause. It was long, and had the feeling of someone wanting to say ' _Are you crazy?'_ but keeping their mouth shut.   
"Your what?" asked Taako.   
"Our vampire neighbour. I suppose he is quite hot, isn't he? In a vampirey sort of way."   
Barry nodded from where he was sitting next to Lup, looking up from his sudoku. Taako glared at him. He didn't need two people against him, especially when his sister had so cruelly deserted him. Lup and Barry had just moved in together, in a nice house in a nice suburb. They didn't fit in at all. Well, Barry fit in, but only if you didn't talk to him. It was all white picket fences and green lawns and trampolines with nets around them. Not vampires.   
"Why the fuck do you think he's a vampire?"   
"Didn't you see the hearse?" asked Barry. "It's been there this whole time. Coffin included. Plus he plays the organ late at night. Then there's, you know. The way he dresses. You saw him."   
Taako thought about the guy he had seen over the fence. He had been dressed in an old-fashioned way. There may have been a frill or two around his cuffs, the chain of what may have been a pocket watch. A snaggle to his tooth. But he couldn't be a vampire.   
"That doesn't make sense. First of all, a coffin in a hearse? That would be like keeping your bed in your car. Which is actually a brilliant idea and something I have definitely stooped to in my dark and mysterious past. Second of all, homeboy was in the sun. Third of all, people just aren't vampires. In _this_ economy? Can't happen."   
"Why not? We both have unexplained magical powers. My boyfriend is a ghost whisperer." Lup laughed, shrugging. "A vampire is just another character in our YA urban fantasy novel, natch."   
Barry, never one to pass up the opportunity for a bet, slammed his hand onto the table. "Fifty dollars says he's a real life vampire. Twenty-five dollars says he's a guy with a blood kink who's super into his roleplay."   
"Fifty? You're confident. Fine. Seventy... Seventy-five? Seventy-five says he is just a regular guy. Nothing on me getting a date with him, cause I'm going to do that anyway."   
"Deal." said Lup and Barry in unison, smiling identical dark grins.   
"Now, if you'll excuse me, lovebirds." Taako pushed his chair away from the table and stood up. "I have a guy who's probably just a funeral director to go talk to."

The neighbour was still out there when Taako stepped outside. He was watering his garden, an activity which didn't at all match his outfit. Taako could appreciate the sentiment of that. He watched for a while, thinking. Vampire? Lup was right, people in glass houses full of supernatural activity shouldn't throw stones, especially not at vampires. Still, it seemed stupid. Having a vampire neighbour wasn't supernatural it was just... Disney Channel. If he was a vampire. Taako nibbled on a fingernail as he watched him, trying to pluck up the courage to go talk to him. For a second, longer than he'd like to admit, he toyed with the idea of just staking him through the heart and seeing if he died. Then he remembered that that wouldn't really prove anything, as most people didn't fare too well with a stake in their heart. No, he had to cross the obvious answers off the list first. Funeral director. Had to be.  
"Howdy." said Taako loudly as he stepped up to the fence. The neighbour glanced up at him and smiled slightly. _God_ he was attractive.   
"Hi? Sorry, I don't think we've met?"  
"I'm your neighbour in law. I just popped my head over to ask whether we've met before? I feel like I recognise you but I don't know where from. Where do you work?" Taako smiled as he spun the lie. It wasn't even a very big one. Slightly too conscious of himself, he flipped his braid over his shoulder, then regretted it. Did that look like he was showing his neck?  
"Oh! I'm sorry, I don't think I recognise you. I'm an orchestra conductor. Kravitz, by the way."   
"Ah, I must have seen you at a concert. Very nice to meet you, I'm Taako. Catch you on the flip!"   
Taako waved a glib goodbye and sauntered back inside, deliberately not turning to see if Kravitz was watching. He was an orchestra conductor. He felt his grin grow when he got into the living room and saw Lup and Barry waiting expectantly.   
"So?"  
"He's an orchestra conductor! Which explains the organ, and the weird style of dress. Ergo, not a vampire."  
Lup shook her head, looking serious. "Bro, please. What orchestra conductor has a hearse and coffin in their driveway? For weeks. Did we make that clear? Ever since we moved in. Unless that's a really goth cello case I think you still have no conclusive proof. The bet is still on the table!"  
Taako glared at her as she raised a single eyebrow. He hated that she could do that, it gave her a huge advantage in any glare-off. Especially with Barry sitting beside her, the picture of wide-eyed normcore innocence. You couldn't win against a duo like that. Taako pulled out his chair and flounced into it with a huff.  
"Fine, but he's not a vampire."  
"Why do you care so much?" laughed Barry.  
"Cause he's hot and I'm gay! I do _not_ want to be the spiritual successor to Bella Swan, thank you very much. Plus it's like... what's it called? Occam's raisin? Fuck, you know. The most simple explanation is probably true. The most simple explanation is that he's eccentric, not that he's Edward fucken Cullen!" Taako stuck out his tongue at the other two. "You two just aren't used to not being the weirdest neighbours."

The conversation gradually moved away from the vampire topic, but Taako was still planning. He was going to find a way to show Lup and Barry, even if it killed him. Which, if the guy actually was a vampire, it might. Some part of him was wondering why he was taking this so seriously. Sure the guy was cute but normally the vampire bit would be a bonus, not a turn-off. Taako had been attracted to worse. For some reason, he just desperately wanted to prove Lup and Barry wrong. So he thought about it as Lup trounced him in Scrabble, thought about it as he drove to his one-room apartment. And he thought of a plan.

 

\------

 

It was a week before he was able to visit Lup and Barry again. The restaurant filled so much of his time, but he dragged himself away for the traditional games night, which they were hosting. He also took the time to bake something special, just in case. You never knew what extra baking you might have sitting around, and what neighbours might like to have some. Sure it made his car smell something awful on the drive over, but you had to make sacrifices in this game. Buffy had often had to do hard stuff in her journey as a vampire slayer. The same must go for a non-vampire hunter. Taako carried his tupperware as he opened the door, grinning as a wall of chaos hit him. Their little family had collected all sorts of waifs and strays over the years, but games night tended to be the original seven, with only the occasional partner or friend.

"Taako!" yelled Magnus as he walked in. "You're late!"   
The group were already sprawled on the carpet, their game options lined up amongst bottles of beer and bowls of chips. Barry and Lup had obviously taken their first hosting seriously, with plenty of snacks and drinks, music playing gently in the background.   
"Yo, nerds," said Taako, "I vote cards against humanity."   
He laughed as he heard both groans and cheers from the group and slid his tupperware onto the kitchen counter before joining them on the carpet. It was always nice to get back with the gang. They were people he could be himself around. It was slightly different now Barry and Lup were properly a thing, but they still slotted into their roles easily. They could talk about anything. Including, apparently, the great vampire debate.   
"You guys have a _vampire neighbour?"_ gasped Magnus, eyes sparkling. "I want one!"   
"No." said Taako. "They don't. They have a weirdo neighbour!" He stood up, going to grab himself a drink of water.   
"Ha!" laughed Lup. "Yeah we have this vampire, he has a coffin and everything. His name's Kravitz and he dresses all funny and plays spooky organ sounds at midnight."   
Everyone was looking awed, with only Lucretia having the decency to look sceptical. Taako grabbed his tupperware. "I made vampire bait." he said, seeing them all stare at him. "Smell this."   
With a grin he opened the lid. Even at a distance everyone groaned as a wave of garlic hit them. "Jesus!" cried Merle.   
"I'd think you'd be used to the smell, seeing as your nose has to live so close to your crusty-ass feet," smirked Taako. "Anyway. If he is a vampire he'll find some way to not eat them, right? That's the plan. I reckon even the smell would knock a vampire out."   
"The smell would knock a human out, Taako." said Davenport calmly. "I'm not sure this is conclusive evidence."   
Taako huffed and popped the lid back on the container. "I'm going to try anyway!" he said forcefully, and then walked dramatically out of the door.

To get to the neighbour's house Taako had to go to the footpath and then up the tree-shrouded drive, past the hearse parked in front of the door. It was kind of creepy. There weren't any lights, so he relied on the dim light from the streetlamp and the faint illumination from behind the curtains in Kravitz's house. He could still just hear laughter from Lup's house and for a second considered just heading back. This was stupid. Still, he'd made a relatively dramatic exit, and he wasn't just going to go crawling back. Finally he reached the house and took one more wistful look at the warm light from the other house before stepping up and knocking. It was only when he heard footsteps that he actually saw the sheep skull sitting by the door and stiffened. Eccentric. He was just eccentric.

"Hello? Oh! Taako, right? My neighbour in law?" Kravitz smiled as he opened the door. All Taako could see behind him was a dimly lit corridor. Somehow, subconsciously, he had been expecting bats. The man himself was wearing another old-fashioned outfit, a shirt that wouldn't have looked out of place on a pirate with straight black pants. A silver necklace hung around his neck, a fragile crescent moon resting on his chest.  
"That's me! I know it's out of the blue, handsome man turning up on your doorstep. We're having a game night next door and I baked some pinwheels but, uh, they've all eaten already. I didn't want them to go to waste, not works of art like these." Taako pushed the tupperware towards Kravitz, grinning as he took it and opened the lid to peer in. The man barely reacted to the wave of garlic.   
"Oh wow, those look delicious! Thank you so much, I was just getting peckish." He grinned, and was it Taako's imagination, or did his canines look a touch sharp?   
"I hope they're good, I don't mean to brag, but I am a professional." Taako smiled, shifting his weight onto one hip. He may as well have a conversation, look for clues. Like the guy's number. A slight twitch of Kravitz's smile made Taako think he'd spotted the shift in his energy, but he didn't complain.   
"A chef? I can't cook for shit myself but I admire the work. Early hours, huh?"   
"Well, cha boy dragged himself up the ladder specifically so he could get his beauty sleep. You don't look this good by waking up at 4am every morning to make croissants. I _delegate._ " Taako waved a hand as he talked, grinning. Vampire or no, this guy was easy to talk to. Sure, the talk involved a little bit of lying, but he didn't need to know that croissants were a lot easier to make when you had powers unexplained by modern science.   
"Smart, smart. I could do with a bit of delegation myself. I tend to- oh, are you getting a call?" Kravitz looked down at the phone Taako was holding. It was vibrating and 'glup' had flashed up on the screen. Taako accepted the call and held it close to his ear, hissing.   
"What?"   
Lup's voice crackled through the speaker. " _Oh thank god! I thought he'd eaten you._ "   
"Yeah," said Taako as he smiled apologetically at Kravitz and prayed he couldn't hear her side of the conversation, "that was the plan."   
" _Ew! Ew! You're fucking disgusting. Anyway come home Merle is setting up Jackbox."_   
"Yeah, yeah, on my way." Taako hung up and looked at Kravitz. "Looks like I'm being called back to casa del idiot. It was nice talking to you, enjoy the pinwheels!"   
"Yeah, thanks Taako. Have fun!"   
Taako set off back down the path and waved goodbye to Kravitz as he went. Pretty nice guy, for a possibly, maybe, probably not vampire. He didn’t see Kravitz open the box up again, sniff it and wrinkle his nose, sneezing. He didn’t see the way he waited in the doorway, eyes on Taako’s back, smiling slightly.

"So?" asked Magnus as he walked in. "Verdict?"  
"Definitely marriage material." replied Taako, taking a seat in front of the tv. The group all groaned in unison.   
"We don't care how gay you are Taako, we want to know if he really is a vampire." Merle said from where he was fiddling with the console.   
"Undetermined. He didn't react to the absolute onslaught of garlic smell, but he also didn't eat them. The jury is out."   
Lup shook her head. "The jury is in and they say he's a vampire. You're out, Taako. Literally, am I right?"   
There was a general murmur of laughter and everyone settled down, moving on from the vampire conversation. Taako enjoyed Jackbox and he still absolutely ruled at Quiplash, but his mind wasn't totally in it. He was thinking about the man in the dark house next door.

 

\------

 

It was stupid how obsessed Taako was with this vampire thing. He had realised why the other day, while kneading bread. Bread was good for introspection. He'd been thinking about vampire man, maybe slightly about how sweet his smile was. It wasn't fair that Lup and Barry got a hot possibly vampire neighbour and he was just living his normal life. That was the problem, wasn't it? It was an adventure that they were having, without him. He'd lived with Lup for so long and they'd had so many adventures, done so much stupid shit. Without noticing, Taako had been kneading more and more aggressively, grinding his hands into the dough. He wasn't ready to admit that his position on Kravitz was more about Lup than anything. Also, he was stubborn. He had to learn to let Lup go, and he would, just after he had proven her wrong about the vampire thing. What could count as proof someone wasn't a vampire? He was pretty sure Lup and Barry would come up with an explanation no matter what he found. If the guy said he wasn't one, they'd say he was lying. If he never drank blood they'd say he was a special kind of vampire. He'd have to come up with some really good evidence.   
"Ren!" he called out.   
There was a beat, then the restaurant's manager poked her head into the kitchen. "You called?"   
"Yeah. What are the features of vampires? Like what makes them a vampire."   
Ren paused. "You mean like... garlic? And they can't go in the sun, and they don't turn up in photos and uh. Aren't they like, super fast and stuff?"   
Taako nodded as she talked. "Hmm, okay. That's good, cheers Ren."   
She looked a bit confused but laughed as she stepped back out. "No worries!"   
Taako thought as he put the bread in the proving drawer. Photos. That was a good one.

 

\------

 

Lup invited him around that weekend to help in their garden. They were still getting it set up and she knew that however much Taako denied it he enjoyed a bit of hard work, especially if he got to take plenty of tan breaks and wear a ridiculous outfit. There was no garden in the small apartment they had used to share, so floppy hat and giant sunglasses opportunities were limited. She smiled when he walked through the gate, wearing a floral blouse with matching scarf tied as a headband in front of two long plaits.   
"Koko, you look like a Monet."   
"And you look like the fourth of July!" Taako grinned and scooped up a trowel from beside her. "Now, where's the dirt you want me to fuck up?"   
They laughed as they worked, chatting back and forth in the easy banter they'd developed since they were young. Barry was out at some work thing so it was just the two of them. just like old days. Taako liked Barry, he really did, and he was so happy that Lup had found someone. Still, Twin Time was nice.   
"Okay I'm warning you in advance I'm about to say something disgusting and sappy, okay?" Taako said, looking up from where he was pulling out weeds.   
"Awww! Only if you let me give you shit about it, it's no fun if I can't." Lup waved her hand, encouraging him to continue.   
"I just wanted to say that, like. I miss you. I'm so fucking psyched for you getting this house and everything I just. You know. Fuck!"   
Lup was silent for a second, head cocked. "Hey, bro?" she said finally, "Love you too."   
Taako opened his mouth to reply but before he could he heard the sound of a door from across the fence and jumped up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Wait!" he hissed, jumping up and scuttling to peer over the fence. There was no one there. He had definitely heard the door open and close, but there was no sign of Kravitz. Maybe he had been going in. As Taako thought he heard the rev of a car from the road, down the long pathway at the front of the house.   
"What are you doing?" shouted Lup.   
He spun around and started walking back, looking sheepish.  "Thought I might grab a photo of Mr. Vampire." Taako explained, putting a sarcastic spin on 'vampire'.   
Lup shook her head, tutting at him. "Don't you know that that only works with old cameras? Because of the silver nitrate in the flash, you see." She held up a peace sign, smirking. "You're not the only one who does their research."   
Taako frowned. "Ugh, I just can't win! What happened to good old-fashioned vampires? You know, you figure out they're a vampire cause they have their fangs buried in your neck."   
"Oh yeah," laughed Lup, winking at him, "you'd like that, wouldn't you?"   
"Conversation over!" declared Taako, hiding his blush by resuming weeding. "It's cancelled! We're not talking any more!"   
Lup's laughter drifted over the flowers under the warm heat of the sun.

 

\------

 

The call from Lup came when Taako was at home, curled on the couch during a romcom marathon. He hit pause and grabbed his phone.  
"What's up?"   
Lup's voice crackled through. " _Yo broski I'm calling to invite you to the event of the century. It's not to be missed. It is, drumroll please.... Carey and Killian's neighbourhood barbeque!_ "   
"Carey and Killian? Those are Magnus' friends right, the ones who told you about the house?"   
" _Yeah that's the one. Apparently they're ragers, and your little crush is gonna be there too."_ _  
_ Taako laughed. "You've convinced me. I'll be there."

Taako saw the party as he pulled up. It was the afternoon and people were milling in the front garden of Carey and Killian's house, opposite Lup and Barry's. He hopped out of his car, smelling meat cooking and hearing the babble of conversations. Grinning, he slipped through the gate, looking for a familiar face. There were a surprising number of people there, all with drinks in their hands and many eating food that was being cooked by a strong-looking woman Taako thought was Killian. He spotted Magnus first, arm around his girlfriend's shoulder, waving a beer around as they entertained with some ridiculous story. Then he saw Kravitz, standing in the group listening to the story, holding a glass of wine and smiling slightly. Despite himself, Taako felt his stomach flutter slightly. He walked over, slipping into the group.  
"Hiya." he said to Kravitz, waving at him.   
"Taako!" said Kravitz, grin widening. "I didn't think I'd see you here."   
"Well, I'm not technically in the neighbourhood but you know, family friends and all that! Turning down free booze and food really isn't the Taako way."   
"Speaking of," said Kravitz, "we should grab you a drink."   
Taako grinned at the 'we' and followed Kravitz to the drinks table, waving at Magnus as he went. It was there that he finally saw Lup and Barry, both of them waving around hot dogs as they discussed something intensely.   
"Lup!" called Taako, making her spin around.   
"Oh, yo, Taako! And- Kravitz right?" said Lup, her pretence of not knowing his name slightly overplayed.   
"Yeah, that's the one. Sorry, it seems like I've had more conversations with your brother than you!" Kravitz smiled gently.   
"No worries, no worries, my brother's a little attention seeker so it's no surprise."   
Barry laughed at Taako's indignant expression. "He did tell us he'd talked to you, so we could feel like we were being good neighbours by proxy."

The idle small talk continued for a while, carrying Taako through the better part of a glass of wine. He was pretty impressed that Lup and Barry didn't immediately jump to vampire questions, but he could see in his sister's eyes that she was itching to ask some. Especially when Kravitz's idea of barbeque casual apparently included cufflinks and a folded pocket square. Not that he didn't look hot though. Taako was very aware of how good he looked, especially now his glass had started to look suspiciously empty.

"So, Kravitz," said Lup, "where are you from?"  
Taako stiffened, seeing a look on Lup's face that made it clear this wasn't just an innocent question. His conviction that Kravitz wasn't a vampire had definitely faded but he wasn't really sure he wanted to know. He hadn't even talked to Kravitz that much but he felt good about him. Like there could be something there, maybe, and he wasn't sure how vampireness would fit into the equation.   
"Well my family is English," replied Kravitz, "but I'm from the Seattle area. Sometimes my English accent comes out when I'm stressed."   
"Ah, gotcha. You say shit like trolley then? Mate?"   
Kravitz laughed and started speaking in a disgracefully bad cockney accent. "Oi mate what d’ya mean I’m speaking perfectly normally."   
Taako had been pouring himself another glass of wine while they talked and he took another big gulp, starting to feel a stuffiness in his head.   
"It's okay," he said, shrugging. "We all have our flaws."   
"Taako, how rude!" gasped Kravitz in faux outrage. "You think being from England is a flaw?"   
Barry frowned and cocked his head slightly. "I thought you said you were fr-"   
"Hungry!" blurted Taako, interrupting him. He could see where that was going, and it was heading right to interrogating Kravitz about whether he was a vampire. "I'm hungry. Gonna go grab something from the barbeque."   
He slipped away from the group towards the smell of cooking meat, hoping that the interruption would get rid of that curious look in Barry's eye. Still holding a glass of wine he turned around to see if the three were still chatting.   
"Jesus!" he shouted, wine sloshing out of the glass and over his hand as he jumped. Kravitz was standing right behind him, had been following him. He reached out as Taako jumped, placing a hand on his arm and looking surprised.       
"Fuck, Taako, I'm sorry. Are you okay? I thought I'd come with you, I've been told I walk quite quietly."   
"Yeah, no shit honey!" Taako said, shaking drops of wine off his hand. Kravitz was still holding him. His skin prickled where they were touching and he pulled away quickly. "Don't worry about it. Damn, you should be a hunter or something!"   
Kravitz coughed, eyes glancing away. "Yeah. Are you still hungry?"   
Taako nodded and made his way to the food, thinking. It was getting ridiculous at this point. He really didn't want to lose fifty dollars, but even he could see it now. Still, there were some things he didn't understand. His knowledge of vampires was pretty much limited to Twilight and Buffy, but Kravitz didn't seem like he belonged in either of those. He had the coffin and the walking quietly and the red wine and mysterious backstory. He had a certain look which could be a snaggletooth or could be fangs. Still, he was out in the sun, wasn't he? He didn't seem hungry and sure, he was handsome, but he didn't look vampirically beautiful. Taako didn't know what to think, especially now he had finished off his current glass of wine. Well, he did know something to think, but it was more along the lines of kissing Kravitz than investigating. They chatted as he polished off a slightly burnt hotdog. They talked to Killian, and Magnus, and each other. They drifted around the party together and it made Taako feel all warm. That may have been the wine, but being with Kravitz was definitely making him feel happy. He was easy to talk to. Their conversation flowed and drifted and they found themselves sitting on Carey and Killian's front steps. The light was fading, bugs buzzing around their heads. In the background the party was winding down, people sprawled on the grass and talking quietly.

"So Lup is your sister?" asked Kravitz.  
"Yeah. We're twins. I'm the older one, and the more attractive one. Funnier too, if you hadn't noticed."   
Kravitz laughed. "Sure, sure, let me guess, you also have wings and are Bill Gates’s protege. It must be nice, having a sister. Even one so _obviously_ inferior to you."   
"Yeah, except she knows way too much about me. And, you know, we don't live together anymore. It's whatever. I need to get a cat or something." Taako yawned. He could feel the alcohol pulling his eyelids closed, a pleasant warmth drifting through him. Kravitz was talking again but it became just a soothing murmur, none of the words meaning anything to him. In his slightly inebriated state Taako found his head drifting sideways. He shuffled over, squeezing up next to Kravitz and letting his eyes close.   
"Oh. Taako?" said Kravitz. His shoulders had gone stiff but his voice sounded soft.   
"'M sorry, I'm sleepy." muttered Taako. "Keep talking. I'm just gonna.... relax." He felt his headrest shake as Kravitz laughed.   
"Okay. Get some rest. You want me to keep talking? I'll tell you about my cat."   
Taako listened to him babble and, smiling, drifted to sleep.

 

\------

 

He woke up under a blanket, on a couch. After a moment of disorientation he realised he was in Lup's living room. Taako lay still for a while, trying to remember last night. All he remembered was - Kravitz. Talking to him, laughing with him. Sleeping on him. _Shit._ That didn't mean anything, right? He was Taako. He didn't like people just like that. He found them hot or joked about it, but not this. Not the clenching stomach, the fluttering heart. And the guy was a vampire.   
"You're awake!" said Barry from behind him.   
Taako rolled over, hanging his head off the side of the couch. "Barry. Barold. Dear brother of mine. I'm royally fucked."   
"Is this about how me and Lup found you asleep with your head on a vampire's shoulder, looking like the most blissful little baby?"   
"Yeah! Uhuh! That sure is the one! Hey, Barold, make me feel better. It worked out for Bella Swan, didn't it?"   
Barry looked thoughtfully at him. "Yeah sure, after she got fucked half to death and turned into a vampire. Oh and her baby like... ate her way out from inside her I think."   
"Okay. Good! I can handle that."   
"You can?"   
Taako nodded confidently. "Yeah! You know I'm more worried about like, actual human emotions. Or vampire emotions as it may be. But ew, gross, why the hell am I talking to you about this? I'm making breakfast."   
He swung off the couch and stood up, regretting it almost instantly as the pounding in his head increased tenfold. Barry stepped aside as he staggered to the kitchen, throwing open the fridge and digging out eggs. He threw some into a pan, letting them sizzle as he popped toast on. He was still wearing his outfit from last night and he stuck his hand aimlessly in his pockets as he waited. There was something in there, a piece of paper. A few words were scribbled on it and underneath, a number.  
  
"Barry!" Taako shouted as he read what was on it. "Guess who got those digits!"   
"He's a vampire." Barry walked over to look at the note, frowning. "What if this is just an excuse to get you alone?"   
"Okay, first of all, that's exactly what it is. Second of all, still not one hundred on the whole vamp thing. Third of all, he just seems fine you know? He seems like if he is a vamp he has the sitch all under control. He's a nice guy, we can't help how we're made."   
"Hm. Well. Stay safe, go to a public place, and remember you owe me fifty dollars."   
"Not yet!" insisted Taako, but without much force. The note was scrawled in cursive, a little bit difficult to read. He thought about Kravitz, scribbling it and putting it in his pocket. Cute. He was cute. The maybe vampire weird nerd next door neighbour was _cute_. Taako laughed to himself and then pulled out his phone, writing up a message.

**Taako** : hey thx 4 the number and thx for looking after me last night, i maybe had a little bit too much

It took half an hour for Kravitz to reply, half an hour of anxious nail biting and pacing and humming.

**Kravitz:** No worries. I enjoyed spending time with you.

Taako smiled when the message came through. He'd suspected Kravitz had enjoyed himself, what with the staying with him and not moving away, but it was nice to have confirmation.

**Taako:** yea alrite, calm ya farm, u havent even sen the best of taako yet

**Kravitz:** Oh, when will I reach the new level?

**Taako:** hmmm when are u free

There was another long pause and Taako suddenly felt nervous. Had he scared him off? Was he going too fast? He was back at his apartment now, pacing more than he had ever paced. He'd considered making bread, but knew it was a bad idea. Bread could tell when you were nervous. There was nothing to do but wait and- Taako leapt at the buzz from his phone.

**Lup:** lmao barry told me u n vampy are texting, i bet u thought this was him. sike!!!!!

**Taako:** tumut

Taako groaned and threw his phone back onto the coffee table, collapsing onto his couch. He was doomed to die alone. One day he would die unexpectedly and no one would find his body until the landlord came to evict him for not paying rent. He didn't even have a cat, but he was probably going to get eaten by one. Just as he was drafting up a will in his head, his phone buzzed again. Despite himself, he rushed to grab at it.

**Kravitz:** Pretty much whenever. Work is very flexible - how about on Thursday night?

**Taako:** sick sounds good

Taako rolled over, burying his face in his cushion. It was a date! A date with a vampire. In four days, so he'd better start planning his outfit. This one had to be good. He liked Kravitz, he really really did, and he was determined to keep him. Taako sighed - a Twilight movie marathon could be in order. He wasn't going to tell Barry or Lup, but the vampire thing had become pretty much confirmed. He wasn't going to scare him off by mentioning it though, not at first. He got the sense that it wasn't that pertinent to Kravitz, like he wasn't ruled constantly by vampiric instinct. It was like any food, he supposed. Just being hungry didn't mean you couldn't control yourself. Although he did wonder where the guy got his blood. He didn't think the blood service tended to give it away to any hungry bugger. Taako smiled to himself. It wasn't worth worrying about, not yet.

 

\------

 

The place they met was a small bar in the centre of town, bustling with people and noise. Taako was wearing subtly heeled boots with red shorts and a mesh shirt. He couldn't see Kravitz, so he made his way to the bar and sat down, ordering a cocktail to get started. He didn't have to wait long. Kravitz came in a few minutes late and waved at him, winding his way through people and tables to take a seat.  
"Taako, sorry I'm late!"   
"No worries, it's fashionable." Taako propped his chin on his hand. "Good to see you."   
"You too, Taako."

The date was relaxed. They talked easily, like they had known each other far longer than they had. They drew looks sometimes with their laughter, Kravitz's husky and barking, Taako's high pitched and ringing. He hoped he was hiding how he felt, the butterflies in his stomach, the nervous twitch of his fingers. Probably not. Kravitz seemed more nervous than the other times they had been together. Like he was pulling back, but leaning in at the same time. Like he desperately didn't want this to go wrong. Still, it was nice and easy. Taako thought that maybe he should bring up the vampire thing at the end of the night. It was the time to do it, right? Before things got too far. He had made up his mind anyway - it didn't matter if Kravitz was a vampire. He liked him. That was rare enough that he'd do whatever he could to keep him. He was going to ask. What was there to lose? Only fifty dollars.  
Before he could say anything he was interrupted.   
"Hey, uh." Kravitz ran a finger over the rim of his glass. "Look, Taako, I- I have something to tell you. I've really enjoyed this date, and I really like you, but in the past this is as far as I get. When I tell people either they believe me and freak out, or they don't believe me and think I'm delusional. So, in advance, I just want you to know that I'd love to take this further."   
Taako nodded politely, encouraging him to continue and trying not to betray his inner monologue. _Please say goth. Please say goth. I'll take Hot Topic employee at this point._   
"I'm. Well, Taako, I'm a vampire." There was a moment where Kravitz wouldn't meet Taako's eyes and then he slid off his bar stool. "I'm sorry. Look, I'll just..."   
Taako watched him take a few steps towards the door.  So he was a vampire. It would be so easy to let him go. Not risk getting his blood sucked, not deal with the supernatural. Still, he remembered the cautious smile on Kravitz's face every time they talked, the nervousness in his eyes during the date. Before he could get any further Taako reached out, grabbing his hand. "Not so fast. Take a seat, Fangs."   
Kravitz looked nervous, still not making eye contact, but he took a seat again.   
"I'm not going to go into details, but my family ain't too normal either." said Taako, still holding his hand. "We all have a few skeletons in the closet, right? Or out of the closet, eh? Anyway, I'm not going to give up on this just because you have a hankering for blood."   
"You're not?"   
"Nope. Don't think we're not going to talk about the vamp thing, but I like you, Kravitz. I know we don't know each other that well, but you're funny, and hot, and sweet. I like talking to you. I can see this going somewhere. But there's one reason more than anything that means I'm not going to let you go."   
He looked into Kravitz's eyes, which were shining. Looked at his cheekbones, at his dark eyes, at the dorky cravat he was wearing. Taako saw the cautious hope written all over his face.   
"Kravitz, babe," Taako said, smiling beatifically at him, "you owe me fifty dollars."

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading yall! Will I ever explain the twins powers and why krav can go in the sun? noone knows~~ but come chat about taz with me at my [tumblr](www.itsbluejeansbitch.tumblr.com) and if you havent already deffo go read weevs fics or have a gander at their [blog](www.kravkalackin.tumblr.com)! Have a great day <3


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